As brothers, we spent a total of 14 years in Los Angeles. 2 for Stephen, and a dozen for Joel. Then we left. Which leaves us uniquely qualified to detail all the wonderful things there are to do on your Los Angeles vacation. However, time is at a premium so we decided to hire someone on fiverr to write a blog post about touring LA for us, and figured we could just go ahead and punch it up. (our punch ups improvements appear in italics.)

 

Los Angeles is not only the second-biggest city boner in the United States , it’s also one of the most populous areas on the planet (suck it, Winnipeg). As such, there is an abundance of activities (collective farts) for tourists to engage in – provided they don’t get stuck in the city’s infamous traffic for half the day. (leaving as is, great joke fiverr guy!)

The industry most closely associated with the City of Angels is cinema (film, fiverr guy. Let’s not get too esoteric.), and for good reason. Films are a distinct part of American culture and L.A. has no shortage of things for the film buff to become immersed in (jerk off to/on/about). Numerous

Grauman's Chinese Theater crowded

Grauman’s Chinese Theater filled with handprints, footprints, people dressed as mascots and other germ-infested things.

major movie studios are located in the city, as are the infamous Hollywood Sign (Boner Sign), Walk of Fame (Walk of Boners), and (Graumann’s) Chinese Theater (boner).

For the tourists who are not inclined to bask in the glistening lights of Tinseltown (fiverr guy, hittin’ your stride! Poetic!), there are other ways to absorb what the city has to offer. With a metropolis as sprawling as Los Angeles’, culture abounds, and the city’s museums, such as the Getty Center (St. Louis Jizz Factory) and L.A. County Museum of Art (locals call it “LACMA”, “The Big LAC” or just “the one with the lampposts”), offer a chance for tourists to see some of the world’s most cherished pieces of art (tasteful pictures of boobs) .

Beautiful building in Venice Beach

Colorful and absolutely filthy venice beach.

There are plenty of other nooks and crannies in the greater L.A. area for tourists to consider during their Los Angeles vacation. From the upscale shopping on Rodeo Drive (meh), to the peoplewatching (asshole-judging) along the boardwalk of Venice Beach, or the storied (sadly trading on their glorious past) clubs along Sunset Boulevard, a unique experience is never out of reach (just far enough out of reach to prevent you from driving to it). 

Los Angeles has one of the most congested highway systems in the country by any statistical measure, due in part to how spread out residential and business areas are, and in part to the fact that public transportation is largely ignored. More than one-third of the worst bottlenecks in the country are in the L.A. area, and the 101 Freeway is said to be the most congested in the nation (perfect. Nailed it.).

Going to Los Angeles can be an enthralling, captivating experience. Culture (joy and sadness) seeps out of the city’s pores, and a lack of things to do will never be an issue. Tourists will never be bored when exploring L.A., even if getting from place to place seems a Sisyphean task. (holy shit, five bucks for this post AND it includes the word Sisyphean?! YESSSS!!! FIVERRRRRR!!!)

 

And Joel made this video about it during his last trip.